The following questionnaire asks about warning signs of domestic violence. If you answer yes to some or all of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. For more information, call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 708.386.4225. All calls are confidential and can be made toll-free.

• Do you constantly worry about your partner's moods and change your behavior to deal with them?
• Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells?
• Does your partner seem like two different people?
• Are you afraid of your partner's temper?
• Have you stopped seeing family or friends to avoid your partner's jealousy or anger?
• Does your partner want to control where you go and what you do?
• Does your partner take all of your money or make you rely on him/her for money?
• Does your partner constantly accuse you of having affairs?
• Does your partner ridicule you, put you down or humiliate you?
• Do you find yourself doing what your partner wants to avoid his/her anger?
• Does your partner blame you for all the failures in the relationship?
• Does your partner say it's all your fault?
• Does your partner scream at you, throw things, break or steal your things?
• Does your partner slap, pull, shove, hit, kick, burn, punch or restrain you?
• Does your partner threaten you with a weapon?
• Does your partner claim his/her temper is out of control due to alcohol, drugs or because s/he had an abusive childhood?
• Does your partner force you to have sex, hurt you during sex, or force you to do sexual things against your will?

Sarah’s Inn is here to help.
Call our 24-Hour Crisis Line at 708.386.4225.

You do not deserve to be abused. You have every right to be safe and free from fear in your home and your workplace. You cannot stop an abuser's behavior - only the abuser can. However, you can develop a safety plan that can help you increase your safety when there is an abusive incident. It's a good idea to develop a safety plan before the next violent incident so that you can be prepared. Keep a bag packed with important items so you can leave quickly if need be.

Every situation is different and what follows are guidelines. Even by following all of the guidelines, safety cannot be guaranteed because abusers are extremely unpredictable. Use your judgment and instincts when responding to potentially violent situations or instances of abuse. Call our crisis line to get additional information or talk to an advocate about a personalized safety plan.

Things to Take With You If You Have to Leave:

• Money, checkbook, passbook, credit cards, ATM/debit cards
• Identification - driver's license, Social Security card, passport, green card, public assistance ID, work permit, etc.
• Order of Protection
• Birth certificates - yours and your children's
• Lease, rental agreement or house deed
• Health, auto, life and property insurance papers
• House and car keys
• Medications
• Jewelry/saleable objects
• Address book
• School records
• Numbers to local domestic violence programs
• Clothing
  

Safety at Home:

• Develop a safety plan and discuss it with your children. Review the plan as often as possible.
• Change the locks and install devices to secure your windows.
• Make sure your children's school and/or day-care center knows who is authorized to pick up your children.
• Tell your neighbors and landlord that your abuser no longer lives on the premises and ask them to call the police if they see him/her near your home.
  

Safety in Public or at Work:

• If you have an Order of Protection, keep it with you at all times.
• Inform building security and coworkers you trust of your situation.
• If possible, provide a photograph of your abuser to building security.
• Vary your routes to and from work and arrange for someone to escort you to your car, bus or train.
• Plan your response to a variety of situations if the abuser confronts you.
  

Safety During a Violent Incident:

• If an argument seems unavoidable, move to a room or area with easy access to an exit - not a bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.
• Identify which door, window, stairwell or elevator offers the quickest way out of the home and practice your route.
• Have a bag packed and ready. Keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place where you can retrieve it quickly.
• Find neighbors you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance.
• Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.
• Use your instincts and judgment. Consider giving the abuser what he/she wants to defuse a dangerous situation.
  

Sarah's Inn assumes no responsibility for any injuries or loss which may occur as a result of reliance on such guidelines.

• E-mail: If an abuser has access to your e-mail account, they may be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail. Make sure you choose a password they will not be able to guess. If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing e-mail messages, they may be printed and saved as evidence of this abuse. Additionally, the messages may constitute a federal offense. For more information on this issue, contact your local United States Attorney's Office.
  
  
• History/Cache File: If an abuser knows how to read your computer's history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), they may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the internet.
  
  You may clear your history or empty your cache file in your browser's settings however, this information may not completely hide your tracks. Many browser types have features that display recently visited sites. The safest way to find information on the Internet is at a local library, a friend's house or at work.
  
  
  • Netscape: Pull down Edit menu, select Preferences. Click on Navigator and choose "Clear History" Click on Advanced, then select Cache. Click on "Clear Disk Cache". On older versions of Netscape: Pull down Options menu. Select Network Options, Select Cache. Click on "Clear Disk Cache".
    
    
  • Internet Explorer: Pull down Tools menu, select Internet Options. On General page, under Temporary Internet Files, click on "Delete Files". Under History click on "Clear History".
    
    
  • AOL: Pull down Members menu, select Preferences. Click on WWW icon. Then select Advanced. Purge Cache.